Let us start
the second part of my story. I hope you enjoy my story.
One day
during physical education class, Max went to Rudi and talked about football –
both of them never played this game before – . He would like to try playing
football and ask him to join with him.
Max said, “
Hey buddy, I think it is good for us to try this game.”
Rudi
replied, “ But I never play it, dude.
I don’t know how to play it.”
I don’t know how to play it.”
Max stated,
“ Neither do I, but at least we try it once. Okay?”
Rudi said,
“Argh,,, okay, then”.
Then, both
of them joined playing football with their classmates. However, the team only needed one more player to join.
Max thought that he had asked Rudi to play it with him. Rudi knew well about
what Max thought at that time, then Rudi
said, “ It is okay, you join it first, then I will substitute you when you get
tired. I will wait you here and watch you guys from here how to do it. Have
fun, buddy.” he patted Max’s back. Max felt relax when Rudi said it.
Then, Max
saw Hans ,a friend who is expert in playing football, and asked him, “ Hey
buddy, I have seen you playing this game. I think you are good in this game.
Can you tell me the secret?”.
While
playing the game he replied, “ It is
depend on how often you practice, bro. You have to do some practices regularly
to keep your stamina such as running, cycling, and some warming-up exercises.”
“ Uhhh,,, that is all the secret. Thank you
for sharing, buddy. I will keep that in mind, I think I am a bit interested
with this game.” Max said.
“ Good luck,
bro. I think you have the potential to be expert in this game.” Hans said.
Rudi was so
excited saw them playing football from the bench and thought that it was not
bad to try it. Suddenly, Lucy came to him and talked to him politely, “
Helloowww..., what are you doing here, neighbor? Are you going to play this
one?” “Yes,.” he replied it shorter. “But, you don’t know how to play it, do
you?” she asked. “ Yeah, I know....., you are right, but I would like to try it
today.” he replied. “ Do you think that you will make it, huh?” she said
arrogantly. He just looked at her face with a smile on his face and did not say
anything. “ Okay, then. Just go on if you think you can do it.” she added and
left him on the bench. Then, Susie whispered to him, “ Come on, you can do it.
Don’t listen to her, okay? Good luck!” and then she followed Lucy again. “Thank
you.” Rudi said.
After
playing for fifteen minutes, Max was exhausted. He went to the bench and asked
Rudi to substitute him, “ Hey, buddy. I am sorry for waiting. Huhhhh.., I am so
tired. I will get a drink first. Enjoy the game, then”. Rudi said, “ Okay,
buddy. Could you please ..., ” “ Don’t worry. I will get for you, too.” Max
replied before Rudi finished his sentence. Both of them patted hand as a sign
for substitution and Rudi went in to the field and played.
Unfortunately,
he could not dribble the ball well. He always kicked the ball far away and
could not reach the ball, it was taken by the other player, who could run
faster than him. He even could not shoot the ball straight to the goalpost.
Then, some of mates stopped playing and went back to the class. When he saw it,
he realized that it was because of him. After that, he gave up and went back to
the bench waiting for Max.
Max was
confused when he came back to the field and saw no-one playing football there.
He just saw his friend sitting on the bench.
He came
closer to him and asked him curiously, “Hey, buddy. Where is everyone?”
“ I think
they got mad at me.” Rudi replied.
“ Why?” Max asked
again
“ I played
badly. I know I cannot play this game like you do. I can’t!” Rudi said a bit
loudly.
“ Okay..,
Okay.., Calm down, buddy. Maybe it is not your capability. Let us change our
clothes and go back to the class. The physical education lesson is about to end.”
Max asked
“ Yeah.., I
think it is better than just sit in here.” Rudi said
Max gave
Rudi the drink that he had promise before.“ Here your drink is. Maybe it can
make your spirit up.”
I think this is a good story . But , you have pay attention to your vocab and overall you have good grammar . you can make it more interesting with make the conflict more complex in the last part
ReplyDeleteYou have built the story very well, Zakharia.
ReplyDeleteI think Rudi is similar to me (huhu). For once, I thought what Rudi experienced was too naive. But then I realized that he had to suffer it so that he could learn from it. Sometimes, we think that being other person is very cool and awesome but we have to know that God create us differently because each of us have their own uniqueness. Am i right?
Ups, I forgot something. Your story was well-developed. However, in my opinion, you should try to avoid using excessive comma(s) and why don't you try some reported speech here? I think it will be better if you do.
So It is about sport, eh ? Well, I do not play sport quiet often and good but I want to know more about the story. I will be waiting for it zack and I agree with Yonatan. If you want your story better you should using direct indirect speech to make it lively.
ReplyDelete